I have been thinking about Domestic violence over the past few weeks and decided to put in my own two penneth worth... As most of you know, We are foster parents and have had over 40 children come into our home over the past 6 1/2 years!
Some have come with many emotional issues due to actions of their care givers..
Some with head lice and dirty bodies .. Some withdrawing from drugs and alcohol...Some with broken bones........ and ALL come with BROKEN SPIRITS!
What we don't understand is that it doesn't take a broken arm or seizures caused from a drug related incident to affect our children..
Even in-utero our babies can sense the emotions of the outside world... being delivered "healthy" but having "Reactive Attachment Disorder" because it doesn't take being abandoned at birth but before the onset of labor!
Our children sense not being wanted... the vibes from mom go to baby.
Worse still is when we WANT children..when we are EXCITED about our new arrival..
We are a FAMILY........ yet there are other ways of making our children feel "UNSAFE"..
Domestic violence is rife... Sexual abuse and child molestation is happening to even tiny babies!!! Pornography is rampant..
When is enough enough???
When do we leave a relationship that is violent?
Who do we turn to?
Where do we go?
There are so many women being battered every day (men also) but dare not leave their partner because they have been broken down so badly and blamed constantly and belittled, threatened, that they feel they cannot or dare not leave for fear of the repercussion from the abuser..
What we need to remember is the CHILD.. The innocent little person who witnesses the terror on mommys face, hears the screams coming from another room... Tries to save mommy from daddys fist! Watches in terror as mommy gets thrown to the floor while begging for YOU to ******STOP******
How dare we as Parents bring these children into this world and then submit them to such violence?? SHAMEFUL!
The sad thing is, is that it doesn't just happen in HIS home or HER home!!!!! It happens in OUR homes.. .. day in and day out..
Men who treat their wives in this manner (especially LDS men) need help and fast.
Pornography is a problem with even the best of Saints!
Men seeking other women OUTSIDE of their marriage (women also) need to STOP now and get help TODAY!
As mothers my plea is that if you are in such a marriage and you think your children are "too young" to understand what is going on... THINK AGAIN! You are destroying these children..
We have to do what is in the best interest of our children.... we cannot submit them to such violence as this will scar them for life in many ways..
There are people you can turn to, places you can go and for those of us that are LDS you go to your BISHOP and you ask for help... You don't leave until you get the help you need..
Do not defend your adult son or daughter if they are in the wrong..... Don't tell them what they want to hear because you are afraid they won't "like you or talk to you" anymore..
The abuser will blame others for everything, they will lie to your face and deny all that they are doing, they will make excuse after excuse about their actions, they will make empty promises,
They WILL HURT you again....... GET OUT while you can... Too many abusive relationships end up in DEATH!
Please, if you are either the abuser or the abused GET HELP... If you don't do it for yourselves do it for the CHILDREN..
Domestic violence is not only PHYSICAL and Sexual violence but also Psychological.
This means intense repetitive degradation, creating ISOLATION and controlling the actions or behaviors of the spouse... through INTIMIDATION or MANIPULATION to the detriment of the individual...